I’m Dreaming…Of A Black Friday…

Don’t get me wrong.  I love being a Canadian.  I dig living in a country where you can marry your same-sex spouse,  celebrate with a snack of poutine and then head off to the ER where you can have a heart attack and not worry about how you’re going to pay for it.

But.  There has always been a wee part of me that fantasizes about being an American.  Everything in the USA is just *bigger*.

Bigger elections!   Bigger celebrities!  Bigger soft drink cups!  (Seriously…you can swim in some of those 7-11 cups!)

And there is no other time of year that I wish I was American than the third week in November…AKA American Thanksgiving.

Canadian Thanksgiving is the second week in October.  It is pretty lowkey.  We spend our extra day off raking leaves and stacking firewood and then finish it off with some Butterball turkey and mashed potatoes.

American Thanksgiving is an *event*!  Gigantic parades! Huge football games! A TV lineup littered with Holiday Specials!

And then what follows this epic day of festivities?  Black Friday!

Ridiculously huge hoards of angry, sleepy, turkey stuffed people willing to draw blood if it means getting their grubby hands on a 42 inch flat screen for $100.

Humanity at its grossest, greediest and most consumptive.

I.  Want.  In.

No, no…not to stand in the sweaty, pushy lines.  That is the last place me and my CMT body need to be.

Instead I want to get myself a tall hot chocolate and a warm cinnamon bun and take them to the most centrally located bench inside some random, gigantic American mall.

And give thanks for the ultimate in people watching.  (And then probably decry the fact that not one store in the food court offers poutine).

Post inspired by the one, the only…MamaKat!

Mama’s Losin’ It

29 comments on “I’m Dreaming…Of A Black Friday…

  1. on November 28, 2012
    Esther says:

    I found enough deals going on online throughout the weekend that i didnt even give shopping in real life a moments thought.

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      I’m still not really big into online shopping. I think I have the martyr complex…you know, where I think I must physically torture myself for a deal. Kudos to uncovering some online deals!

  2. on November 27, 2012
    CJ says:

    I’m with Carol. Black Friday is on my Black List, too. Shopping is the last thing I would do on that day. I don’t care if they give me a mega-screen TV for 10 cents. I don’t need one or want one if I have to stand in line, fight a crowd, or get trampled to get it. I’d rather be home reading, watching a movie with my husband, sleeping in, or watching all the crazy shoppers on TV and feeling smug because I didn’t participate.

    Maybe you think the grass is greener on the other side of the border, but I’m on this side, thinking Canada sounds pretty cool and a lot more sane.
    CJ recently posted..THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKSMy Profile

  3. on November 26, 2012
    Jen says:

    They should totally set up chairs and sell popcorn. ;)

  4. on November 25, 2012
    Kat says:

    Hilarious perspective! I’ve never thought of it quite like that, but I do believe you just inspired me to make Black Friday People Watching a new family tradition. Haha!
    Kat recently posted..Black Friday Yay or Nay?My Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      “Come kids…let us load into the family minivan and people watch outside the Sbarro.” Oh yes…I smell the next Dickens-esque holiday classic! :) Thanks for stopping by!

  5. on November 25, 2012
    Lenka says:

    Haha, that’s exactly what I did! We slept in and drove the the mall in the afternoon. I had a gift card that I could use with a great sale. We mostly watched the scene, took lots of breaks with snacks, and enjoyed the day :) . Didn’t come home with very much, but the point was an adventure. You should come with us next year :)
    Lenka recently posted..Our BirchesMy Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      Gift card + sale + mall snacks = shopping trifecta!!!!! *le sigh* If only we lived closer….

  6. on November 23, 2012

    I love your un-Thanksgiving sory! I visited your lovely country this summer and had some poutine. An unlikely sounding combination but very good!

  7. on November 23, 2012

    Now that’s a reason to go out on Black Friday! I usually avoid the whole thing, lock my doors and windows, and continue the great weekend-o-eating that somehow goes with Thanksgiving.

    I wish I could remember where, but I’ve had that poutine thing – damn good! And curd is definitely the way to go.
    The Meaning of Me recently posted..Put On Your Thanksgiving Pants!My Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      Glad you enjoyed our National delicacy! Now tell me…did you wash it down with some good ol’ Canadian beer??!

  8. on November 23, 2012
    allison says:

    Ugh. No. I like to stay in denial that Black Friday even exists. And I like our Thanksgiving where it is – this close to Christmas would be too much holiday pressure for me.

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      It is nice to have Thanksgiving and Christmas spaced apart…totally with you on that!

  9. on November 23, 2012
    Emily Cullen says:

    Totally! The only time I have willingly gone out on BF is to enjoy the energy and see people in cheesy Christmas sweaters. But that was a long time ago. Today I have to go out on BF bc my son needs sneakers and boots and BF is the only time I can afford them. I am scared, pray for me.
    Emily Cullen recently posted..ThankfulMy Profile

  10. on November 22, 2012

    YES! I used to love going shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving because it was just such a fun adventure! Will we get there without running over a pedestrian? What will we end up buying that we totally don’t need simply because of the door buster price? I think my favorite part was the people watching though so I would totally be right there along with you, drinking my latte and making up stories about all the crazy people walking around! :)
    Sara Carbaugh recently posted..Lazy Thanksgiving Feast and a Recipe for Twinkie HoardersMy Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      Don’t leave a girl hanging…so did you get there without running over a pedestrian or not??? *grin* I like the idea of making up stories about the people milling past me…I will incorporate that if I ever “live the dream!”

  11. on November 22, 2012
    carol says:

    Love this post! The sarcasm was so perfect. I don’t do Black Friday’s, and I don’t think I would even enjoy watching people… making fool’s of themselves, yelling obscenities at their neighbors, punching, kicking, hitting, running like maniacs to get what???? What’s spending $10 more for an item a couple of hours later… rather than letting the world see the absolute ugly and worst in you and almost getting killed, or you killing someone, in the process. Our culture has become quite rude, obnoxious, loud, greedy, and down right stupid and cruel. Black Friday is definitely on my Black List! Sorry if I offended anyone….

  12. on November 22, 2012

    Wish you were here to head up to WalMart with me at midnight — to get a number – to wait in line so we could buy a WWi U at 5 a.m. Ha.
    Jamie@southmainmuse recently posted..Pecan is just a nut till it meets Karo Syrup.My Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      And the question begs: Did you get the elusive WWiU??!

  13. on November 22, 2012
    Rebecca says:

    Yes, people watching as part of the Thanksgiving holiday! You know, its popular to ridicule those that participate in Black Friday and the retailers that indulge it, but when it comes down to it, its one of the many fibers that weaves the holiday traditions together and make it feel like the holidays! I don’t need to actively participate but yes, I do like to observe it!
    Rebecca recently posted..Comment on Don’t Call it a Comeback by RebeccaMy Profile

  14. on November 22, 2012

    What a cool reason to like Black Friday! I’ve never thought of it that way. For the most part I avoid Black Friday, trade it in for Blue Friday (the color of my favorite Snuggie/ Blanket With Sleeves) and nap until it’s over. I definitely don’t shop because people here get downright crazy trying to claw and stampede towards half-off TVs. But the idea of sitting back and WATCHING the madness? That could be pretty entertaining!
    Tori@theramblings recently posted..Fork (& Foot) In Mouth: A Thanksgiving TraditionMy Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 29, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      So I’ll sign you up to join me on the bench next year? Would you like hot chocolate topped with whipped cream? *grin* Thanks for stopping by!

  15. on November 21, 2012
    Anonymous says:

    Black Friday scares me. I don’t like crowds so the US is not the place for me. Not on Friday anyway.

  16. on November 21, 2012
    Christine says:

    Haha…well, I hope you get to come people watch on Black Friday someday in the future! Since I’ve done it (and didn’t much like it,) I try my best to stay home. Though someday I’d like to try poutine!
    Christine recently posted..Starry Night Update: What I am Thankful For!My Profile

    • natteringnic
      on November 21, 2012
      natteringnic says:

      I swear I’m doing Black Friday next year. (Let’s forget the fact I’ve been saying this for 4 years now). Poutine is awesome! You can make it yourself…just put cheese curds (or mozza cheese…not as good as curd but it will work) on top of a plate of fries and then pour beef gravy over the fries and curd. *drool*

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